Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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