also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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