I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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