That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
