I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
