fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize