Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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