I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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