living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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