I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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