meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
