i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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