You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
