don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I want to fling myself into the sun
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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