i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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