I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
