Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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