Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
