they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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