I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
