did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
