3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
its not stalking. its research.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
