You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
