So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
