he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
