We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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