Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize