I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
