he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
