Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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