Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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