I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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