You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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