Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
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I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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