All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
