just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
