I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
