If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
