She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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