He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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