how can u be prego again
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
