Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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