I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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