My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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