it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
