YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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