dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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