C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
