my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i think my cat just said my name.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
