She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
