I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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