why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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