so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
