we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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