the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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