just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
