Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
