How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
