Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize