The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
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Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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